“Believing In What I Cannot See”

            I have never seen them, but I know they are there.  Many times when I thought, “how could I have survived this experience,” or “how did I make it through this hardship”, I stop and remember that they must have been working overtime.  What would you say to someone who has almost gone completely from this world only to come back and tell the story about it?  Would you believe their tale, and would you believe that a guardian angel was watching over them?  I certainly would!  My many experiences in life threatening situations have led me to believe that I have a guardian angel that constantly watches over me and keeps me safe from harm.  I have never seen my angel, but I know in my heart that there are watchful eyes, tender loving eyes that are always upon me.

            We hear of many tragic stories of children who are abducted by wicked criminals every day, who abuse and viciously kill them.  I almost became one of those statistics when I was a very young child.  When I was around 4 years old, I was almost kidnapped by a total stranger in the grocery store.    I was sitting in the front of the grocery cart as my mom was checking out, and a strange man began to wheel the grocery cart out of the store as my mom was turned around to pay the cashier.  We were close to the door and he made it out of the door.  At that precise moment my mom turned her head around and saw what was happening.  She ran after us, and the man got scared and left.  We later found out through video tapes that captured what had happened that this man was a well-known sex offender who was on probation for sexually assaulting a young child. 

In a split second, my life could have changed forever.  If angels could be seen, I am sure mine would have been smiling on the video tape capturing this incident in the store.  I believe with all my hear that it is my guardian angel who tapped my mom on the shoulder to have her turn around right at the moment when I was exiting the store with this dangerous criminal. 

            My strength and will power are sometimes weakened by hardships, and I sometimes question my existence in this world.  However, gentle reminders come my way to reaffirm my belief that I have a guardian angel that helps me get through these hardships.    No time has this become clearer to me than 2 years ago on a cold November night when my mom was out of town at a conference and I was home with a family friend who keeping me company until she came back.  Most of the memories of what happened came back to me a few days later; memories that continue to linger in my mind as a sweet reminder of the overtime hours my guardian angel must have been putting in that night!  

Around 10:00 at night, I began my regular routine of getting ready for bed.  This included taking my long acting Lantus insulin dose of 30 units, as I have been a Type I diabetic since the age of 5.  I reached into the refrigerator where it is kept and took it as usual.  What I didn’t realize at the time was that I reached for the wrong vial and took 30 units of the short acting, meal-time insulin.  This proved to be a potentially deadly situation if not corrected right away with very large quantities of glucose.  Well, of course I didn’t think anything of it, and went directly to bed – and almost never woke up. 

My mom came home the next morning and found me in a diabetic coma.  She recalls to me how cold and lifeless I looked, and how the meter would not even give her a sugar reading and just read “low”, which mean it was below “25”.  A normal sugar reading for a diabetic is 120.  She immediately gave me a glucagon shot, as she dialed 911.  I have no memory of their attempt to get me to come back from my coma, but my mom describes it as one of the most frightening things she has ever gone through.  My sugar was so low for so long, that my blood vessels were too dehydrated to give me an IV, and they had to do it through the bone in my leg.  The paramedics later told my mom that it was a miracle that they got me to wake up, and that it would be a bigger miracle if I didn’t suffer any brain damage. 

 I remember when I woke up I was scared and confused at what was happening around me.  My mom was crying and my grandparents were hysterically upset.  However, as the paramedics were taking me to the hospital, with needles in my arms and strangers all around me poking at my body, I remember having a sense of peace and serenity that everything was going to be ok, and that someone was holding my hand comforting me.  I couldn’t see that person, and didn’t know who they were, but I am sure, now, that the feeling of safety and security came from my guardian angel who helped me wake up from my coma, and continued to watch over me to make sure I had no long term brain damage. 

I can keep reminiscing of many events  in my life – from near tragic accidents, to almost drowning, to jumping out of an airplane – and the simple fact remains that I strongly believe that I have a guardian angel that keeps watch over me to make sure that I am safe.  I have not seen this angel, nor do I have scientific proof that it exists.  But I believe in what I cannot see because I have lived the experiences that make me know that my guardian angel is real.

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